It took us 4 weeks to find out we didn’t have a communal decision making process, 20 minutes to decide we needed one, an afternoon to defuse the situation and calm down, a lot of thinking out loud to decide how to decide on a decision making process, and about an hour to come to a consensus about our newly adopted consensus process. Quite a day to say the least, but so are most days when you are travelling with a group.
To be honest, it was easier in the beginning, when we didn’t know each other well enough to sacrifice our own wants for the needs of the group; when each of us only felt responsibility for ourself; when we waited for everyone to have food before we started eating because it was a rule. It was easier to pretend that we had all found ourselves on parallel trips, victims of happenstance willing to withstand the burden of each other´s needs.
So why do it? Why put yourself through the awkward get-to-know-you´s and fake smiles? Because the reward now makes it all worthwhile.
I don’t remember when it changed, it certainly wasn´t all at once. I can pinpoint moments, memories, like that afternoon of deciding, where we learned to trust each other a little more, to rely on each other and entangle our previously parallel experiences. I like to think by now those experiences have become a sort of knot, a series of inseparable memories that won’t be forgotten even after this program ends. I certainly won’t forget.