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Cambodia Summer Program.

Changed

Changed. This is a word that I never thought would describe me after only 4 short weeks in Cambodia. How could one month have such a powerful impact on my life, to the point where I feel that I am different to how I was when I first stepped on the plane? I left a Kylie-shaped hole in my life at home when I left for Cambodia, and now, going back, I don’t think I can fit that mold any longer. Returning home is going to be hard. How will I keep my resolutions? How will I stay strong in my convictions instead of conforming to the mold that previously fit me so well? Coming on this trip did me wonders. It took me from being a girl so confident in some matters that I could have been egotistical about my supposed knowledge about the world, to a girl who has amassed much more knowledge, however the type of knowledge and the perspective I have gain has shifted. I’m now left with way more questions than answers, but these questions have inspired a curiosity I never knew I had. I also left as someone perfectly happy in my self-created comfort zone. Floating around in a default setting, not always aware of decisions I was making. Daring to step outside of that comfort zone and becoming more conscious in my actions has helped me to see the world from more angles, not just the perspective that my umbilical cord of privilege took me to. This is not to say that now I have completed this course I have become enlightened about the world outside of the bubble I often find myself in. In fact, I’m left more confused than ever. I’m scared that I won’t be able to implement the beliefs that I have gathered into my life – or that I will, until I decide that my priorities lie in the short term future, such as school, college, friends etc. But I am going to try my hardest to change that mold, not to fit into that Kylie-shaped hole that everyone expects me to slot right back into. I believe that I, in this moment, at 2.50am in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, on our last night, feel different, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to make that feeling stay.