Time has always eluded me. It is simply a construct used to mark moments passing by, yet people are fascinated by it, myself included; every birthday is a celebration of another year of life. Some are obsessed with mortality, the longevity of life. I am baffled by the idea that time is consistent, a hard cold fact. Seconds tick away rhythmically, never speeding up or slowing down. However, our minds can warp our sense of time, turn it into something abstract.
Sometimes I feel time moves crazy fast and other times wicked slow. I look back and cannot believe my gap year adventure is coming to an end; where has the time gone? Just yesterday it was September, and I was off to Chile for my NOLS course. Yet at the same time, these last two weeks in Kyrgyzstan have felt like years. I count down every day, excited to return home after a long, busy year. As Zack would say, I have become the horse in the stable, gathering speed as the sight of the barn enters its line of vision. I don’t like this. I don’t want it to be like this. But it’s hard.
Caught between the past and the future, it can be difficult to stay present. I am trying my best.
Here is what I have found helpful when trying to bring myself back to the present:
Time is elusive, complex, enigmatic. Sometimes it is difficult to understand. However, rather than trying to unravel its complexities, I find it more productive to accept it for what it is and embrace the right here and now.