“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”
Watching the sunrise at Fishtail mountain literally took my breath away. From the left of where I was stood the sky was a swirly blend of sorbet colors with the full moon showing off behind the care bear clouds. Straight forward was a post card view of the snow capped Fishtail mountain and to the right the clouds looked like a sea with sharp vibrant orange and red hues from the sunrise. I sunk into the remembrance that I am one with the mountains, sun, trees, and clouds. My body is made up of particles and elements. I am the ecosystem in a body. The same force of love which created the Earth and every other living being also lives within everyone of my cells and atoms- it is the real me.
I grew up in a primarily anthropocentric community. I did not see nature as an equal to me or part of me. I do not hold an anthropocentric world view anymore but there are definitely times I see a tree or the ocean as a separate entity. I walk past a flower without observing the sweet communication it is transmitting. I forget the relationship I have with the breathing planet and become attached to the ‘solid’ form “I” live in. I fall into the great illusion of thinking I am a separate being and a solid sense of “I”, rather than an intrinsic part of the whole interconnected web of existence. I believe I am a drop in the ocean instead of the entire ocean in a single drop.
My intention for the trek was to walk with God. I believe that God is a power within me but not of me- for I did not create myself. I believe God is the force which created the cosmos and chose to split off into infinite individual parts to experience its self subjectively. Nothing is actually individual because everything is interconnected. Recent scientists have discovered this through quantum physics. Everything is made of atoms and all atoms are made of the same three basic particles- protons, neutrons, and electrons. Everything perceived in the tangible world looks solid and separate, but it is all is impermanent dynamic vibration. The feminine aspect of God is the manifest world- my body, mountains, sky, stars, ocean, other human beings and creatures. Within every being is pure awareness, which is the masculine aspect of Divinity.
While watching the sunrise the separated sense of self, aka the ego mind, within me was so still because awe possessed me. For a good while I do not remember having any thoughts besides I am one with God, me and God are one. Through the breathtaking form of the feminine, I felt the presence of the miraculous love of God so profoundly. As an iceberg of separation melted from my heart and streamed from my eyeballs, each tear felt like the entire cosmos itself. The concept of oneness was not an idea floating through my mind, it was an embodied experience. Within a few minutes I witnessed my ego mind come back and within the hour I felt my heart closed off once again. Oh the process of being human!
For the rest of the trek I contemplated what God means to me and how to embody this potential. I believe the source of all suffering is a misidentification with who I really am. I am not the narratives in my head, my history, or this body- I am the entire universe desiring to know itself through a parcel of it’s consciousness. . Shifting from spirit identification from body identification is true empowerment. As long as I trust in the ego’s limited strength and self-perception, I will never be able to live the life I am destined to live and help create the world humanity has the potential to live in. That self is an illusion, all that is really real is the consciousness which is observing the narratives from my mind. Trekking through the whimsical Himalayan mountain range helped me remember the intrinsic golden web of interconnectedness and the mighty power that lies within. Being immersed in the elements helps slow down the mind so I can re-identify. I feel so humbled, honored, and privileged to have absorbed these gorgeous sights and most of all to have gained a new set of eyes.